This is th end, last day and last post.
  I made a brief presentation in both churches I attended. I began with, ' kana mono me bashikaka na Congo, bamvula 30 me luta, mono mus me kwenda, mais piece fiote me bika. Ntangu yai, mono me kufutuka na sosa yo.'-- kind of, 'when I left the Congo 30 years ago, most of me left but a part stayed behind and now I'm here searching for it'.
  The question I leave with is, did I find what I was searching for?
  Yes, I did. I once again experienced the most hospitable, giving (and demanding) people around. People that know how to love, laugh, pray, sing in the midst of despair. People that are willing to share their last chicken with you who doesn't need the chicken. People who live in their yards and in the street, surrounded by family and neighbours.
  No, I didn't. The Kikwit we knew is gone. It has long outgrown itself. Maintenance of roads and all infrastructure has ceased years ago. I quickly felt overwhelmed by the demands and expectations of old friends. I even avoided making efforts to contact some of them who I knew were around.
  So was it worth it? It was something I had to do and now I'm content. I have nothing further to look for here in the Congo.
  I leave with a whole bag of emotions. Suzanne Lind and I spoke briefly of guilt being one of those. Why do I have so much and other so little. Our discussions were helpful and I am leaving without guilt, though with renewed commitment to live life more carefully. I come back to Walter Wink one last time: ' The advantaged must die to their egocentricity, consumerism and materialism while the poor must die to their hopelessness, fatalism and acquiescence in their own despoiling'. If there is guilt, it must be shared.
  I did leave considerable money here with others. Was it too much and only added to dependency? Was it too little? Would it make a difference beyond tomorrow? Did it again reinforce the notion that money is all I have to offer? 'I don't know' to all of the above and I'm not asking anymore.
  So, I leave and its been fun.